tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89056607601920891072024-02-18T19:58:52.346-06:00What Boys Really WantPithy, straight-from-the-hip advice from the mysterious Miz Fitz, who knows all. Ask her a question.Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.comBlogger111125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-54064711937116378852014-04-05T07:47:00.000-05:002014-04-05T07:47:12.621-05:00Miz Fitz is Feeling Cranky This Morning<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Dear Miz Fitz,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> Ugh! New life, new
problems; same guy, same asshole. I like this boy, but today he told me that
all he cares about are boobs. Disgusting, I know. Then I wanted to be friends
and go see a movie, but he said that we can't because his girlfriend wouldn't
like it. I get it, she loves him and I respect that, but it's bullshit. He
would never cheat. EVER. And I'm not that type of young lady.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I just… I can't help but feel like I am
never going to find a boyfriend unless he's straight out of a book. Even then I
think he wouldn't want me anyways. </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG5_Mfse96rWBM3-7BANLvsTm-B-l0VTwtlKDNBgQ00satyDVVVLsFpUN_pEEGmYvgfD-S8qLgFzhLvOQNIlnI3bbJ1FHo5PEX1ss_hMeTKqvNomlteolqpHsKZkwn-sHt8tCvG1jtsp3s/s1600/manboobs1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG5_Mfse96rWBM3-7BANLvsTm-B-l0VTwtlKDNBgQ00satyDVVVLsFpUN_pEEGmYvgfD-S8qLgFzhLvOQNIlnI3bbJ1FHo5PEX1ss_hMeTKqvNomlteolqpHsKZkwn-sHt8tCvG1jtsp3s/s1600/manboobs1.jpg" /></span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sigh. Miz Fitz feels your pain, but she prefers to be amusing rather
than helpful. In this case, since the unworthy object of your misplaced affections
is boob-obsessed, she recommends hormone therapy. For him, not for you. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Modern
medicine is a marvelous thing. A couple of years of high-dosage estrogen and he
can have boobs of his own to admire every morning in the privacy of his own
boudoir.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz realizes that this does not solve your problem, but she can only do so much.</span></div>
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Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-6886622716688580992013-12-26T09:31:00.000-06:002013-12-26T09:31:12.491-06:00Much Ado About Nothing<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Dear Miz Fitz,</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> I think that I'm falling in love with a guy I just got to know... He's in my drama class, and he seems to really care about me, but I don't want to mix up friendliness with flirtation. I'm almost directly certain that he likes someone else, but it seems like they're also just friends. What can I do to be certain?</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> Sincerely,</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5WzGOVDvuP1q9lpjSkm4UYo2NK-U0_X9K98KUo295HWllQETJ67VQcZ7s8Qu5KrTRYXIjvllduiVUaTgadjZXtGFYte5bYWiRdN1bwZbhqxjESoIPSVy7etYilFOSZ95Tho0AiVcfIYdd/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-12-26+at+9.27.43+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><i><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5WzGOVDvuP1q9lpjSkm4UYo2NK-U0_X9K98KUo295HWllQETJ67VQcZ7s8Qu5KrTRYXIjvllduiVUaTgadjZXtGFYte5bYWiRdN1bwZbhqxjESoIPSVy7etYilFOSZ95Tho0AiVcfIYdd/s320/Screen+Shot+2013-12-26+at+9.27.43+AM.png" width="226" /></i></span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> Dazed and Confused</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Dazed,</span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz believes that you are better at inventing these situations than she is at responding to your inquires. In this case, since you are in drama class you are doubtless very dramatic, therefore Miz Fitz recommends a dramatic approach similar to that employed by the characters in Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing." In the end, everyone will be so confused by events that they will be unable to conceal their true feelings, and all questions will be laid bare.</span></div>
Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-66747930325586730482013-11-28T10:54:00.001-06:002013-11-28T10:54:15.057-06:00Sexy Sadie<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Dear Miz Fitz,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I have been best friends with a guy since
the fifth grade and I've liked him ever since... but we haven't talked face to
face for a long time.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Now we're in the eighth grade now and I've
b<o:p></o:p></i></span><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">een leaving notes in his locker secretly; he always reads them, but he never
answers them. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I want to ask him to the Sadie Hawkins
winter formal, but how can I ask him when he pretends like I don't even exist?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<o:p><span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz would like to point out that <i>she</i> did not know you exist either--until you wrote her this letter!</span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvCTZvdtmmf5D3S2KtgwiJ2YKf5J4RMbtDO7EKjXrEKGm4dL9hyphenhyphenal57bL3Tzy1sbPbckdO1G0cEJYJRaHmJ9I7uIMktaHju_yfAGSFYgcQhYs1Wemdy5kyzDkb6DCxXC0EDlF7HhPtrwcQ/s1600/hawkins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvCTZvdtmmf5D3S2KtgwiJ2YKf5J4RMbtDO7EKjXrEKGm4dL9hyphenhyphenal57bL3Tzy1sbPbckdO1G0cEJYJRaHmJ9I7uIMktaHju_yfAGSFYgcQhYs1Wemdy5kyzDkb6DCxXC0EDlF7HhPtrwcQ/s320/hawkins.jpg" width="207" /></span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As for the anonymous locker note strategy…you have seriously messed with that boy’s fragile male brain. He lies awake at
night trying to imagine who the mysterious note writer could be. Does he ever
imagine it is you? Who can say?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz believes that there is no way to
ask a guy out for Sadie Hawkins Day that is not terrifying. Nevertheless, you
must embrace your fear and plunge into the unknown—preferably face-to-face. If
he says no, you will suffer mortification, and possibly throw up. But it will
be better than if you don’t ask him and spend the rest of your life wishing you
had been bolder. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If he says yes, mission accomplished! But
Miz Fitz would not mention the locker notes until, well, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i>. Because it makes you seem a little stalkerish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">BTW, 2013 is the 76<sup>th</sup> anniversary
of the first <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadie_Hawkins_Day" target="_blank">Sadie Hawkins Day</a>, which took place in Dogpatch, U.S.A. in 1937. Sadie was quite a woman!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGh7Aib8tSg9XRyDJ85ADVQg9M6Zomi-0120hKmp0PLLxbbzwPwAxt9592O4pCvDq36caABRdun28hDLIBpz9svnjVgldOFLRsI3OWqTMuiTtRkNx5FrrrqQLtuOFFwfTkRTd_hkKGaXG1/s1600/bio.sadie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGh7Aib8tSg9XRyDJ85ADVQg9M6Zomi-0120hKmp0PLLxbbzwPwAxt9592O4pCvDq36caABRdun28hDLIBpz9svnjVgldOFLRsI3OWqTMuiTtRkNx5FrrrqQLtuOFFwfTkRTd_hkKGaXG1/s1600/bio.sadie.jpg" /></a></div>
Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-63962568443518227242013-11-23T06:03:00.000-06:002013-11-23T06:03:03.763-06:00Rainbow Blues<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Dear Queen of The Fizzy,</i></span></span><br />
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I like a guy who isn't into girls of... "color." Is there any way to get him to notice me?</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>-Clueless</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh Clueless!</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl_fgNVE2l44PmHV5JH35U4iHBjS2ukqblkSGNzvL528ptHLg-EJ5wJvvocZVOVge9Ai65Pb9eE1lVQIdpEHLrKLNMSTfIc9S5qZ2Q_-GvTUA1B7y6bOPt3h7m4CIIpIl6_1rk8OZRtBAK/s1600/Spaghetti.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl_fgNVE2l44PmHV5JH35U4iHBjS2ukqblkSGNzvL528ptHLg-EJ5wJvvocZVOVge9Ai65Pb9eE1lVQIdpEHLrKLNMSTfIc9S5qZ2Q_-GvTUA1B7y6bOPt3h7m4CIIpIl6_1rk8OZRtBAK/s320/Spaghetti.jpg" width="314" /></span></a><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz thinks that you have a clue. The poor boy is aesthetically challenged. It is sad—so many colors, and he desires only the colorless, like a child who will eat only </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">vanilla yogurt and </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">spaghetti with parmesan cheese. A tragedy!</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He may change in time, but it could be a very long time, and the change will have to come from within his own pathetic soul. You could, of course, immerse yourself in a vat of industrial bleach, but Miz Fitz cannot recommend so drastic a move, as it may result in split ends...or worse.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Colorful Miz Fitz</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-60798619385815085522013-04-23T06:30:00.001-05:002013-04-23T06:30:11.063-05:00Seriously Confused<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRB06JtNLrYgD-bXq0b47a1MzKbQ4HUXZAAlE6D0-EXf96SLH1EeKmc0iGjJxznPyMBsSyDoy49BCeeK-4k1LGihxkytnV77MuR6c7qhInuez00WnezeW7-ZoaL5wsco9QZVQA7xY1EPdF/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRB06JtNLrYgD-bXq0b47a1MzKbQ4HUXZAAlE6D0-EXf96SLH1EeKmc0iGjJxznPyMBsSyDoy49BCeeK-4k1LGihxkytnV77MuR6c7qhInuez00WnezeW7-ZoaL5wsco9QZVQA7xY1EPdF/s320/images.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why so serious?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;">Dear Miz Fitz<br />People are telling me that this boy I like likes me back but earlier in the year he turned me down and now were "friends" but I still like him what do I do?</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;">- SeriouslyConfused</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"></span></span>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Seriously,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The boy in question may simply be stunned and frightened by your extraordinary intelligence, charm, and beauty. He fears he is not good enough for you, and you know what? He may be right.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"></span><br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"></span><br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"></span>Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-60782945760530746262013-03-15T08:02:00.000-05:002013-03-15T08:02:08.001-05:00When All Else Fails, Read Jane Austen<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: white;">Dear Miz Fitz,<br />I have just found out that my crush likes me! But the thing is the only time we hang out is at youth group. At school he is a jock(and super hot!) while I am a social misfit (pretty, but a smart ass to everyone which tends to make people not like me for some reason) and we don't really mix there. Should I make the first move, wait for him to make it, or abandon the notion of us dating all together?<br />~Frazzled</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: white;">Dearest Fraz,</span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrNrqGtWiRUx7jqlEeqPlRbwYPrByxPoHDD3ciLIuWba-Hh4Z_sYpjclxsImmV-uQma0tsoemyNWBn-DaqSTUWxK40It85TTAJmdshVBze0-UJGAilBbes7_Sr7-AhzVWXDQzC6p7go9JV/s1600/pride_and_prejudice12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrNrqGtWiRUx7jqlEeqPlRbwYPrByxPoHDD3ciLIuWba-Hh4Z_sYpjclxsImmV-uQma0tsoemyNWBn-DaqSTUWxK40It85TTAJmdshVBze0-UJGAilBbes7_Sr7-AhzVWXDQzC6p7go9JV/s320/pride_and_prejudice12.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: white;">Miz Fitz believes you have found yourself living inside a young adult novel. You have two choices. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: white;">1. You can power through to the ending, which may be hazardous. Since this is a YA novel, you can't know for sure whether you will end up as a princess, or as a vampire's lunch. Probably, because you are the heroine, you will be okay, but still—it's a risky business.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: white;">2. You can throw the book across the room and re-read Pride and Prejudice, which always ends nicely.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: white;">Miz Fitz knows that this is not helpful, and she apologizes. Her cat is yowling for food, and she has spilled tea on her favorite pair of jeans, and she thinks she may be coming down with a cold.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: white;">That is all.</span></span><br />
<br />Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-18579995325416876262013-02-06T11:58:00.000-06:002013-02-06T11:58:46.554-06:00Miz Fitz is not being helpful today...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh wise Mitz Fitz,</span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvfJGKL7iiVk4n087XyC6fhHqu_nMsJOjRmGE8G6r9ypuDjtv-D0Y_jBUXUhlyfme_EIS-RTDcmS99aY3BZPZVnswKPCaTFp-Ct9R_sCI4X99dC2ospN468PyeUTaD-q_UdyjLr0lolFXv/s1600/120px-Stewart-Humus_face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvfJGKL7iiVk4n087XyC6fhHqu_nMsJOjRmGE8G6r9ypuDjtv-D0Y_jBUXUhlyfme_EIS-RTDcmS99aY3BZPZVnswKPCaTFp-Ct9R_sCI4X99dC2ospN468PyeUTaD-q_UdyjLr0lolFXv/s320/120px-Stewart-Humus_face.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />I had acne for two years now and most of the time I pop my pimples.This leads to acne scars...Now I have acne scars and acne. How can I eradicate my acne?</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />- Pizza Face</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Pizza Face,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Acne sucks, but it could be worse. For example, you could have "hummus face."</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span>Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-68406782641558074792013-01-19T07:00:00.000-06:002013-01-19T07:00:05.072-06:00How to Lose Weight<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz,<br /><br />How can I keep my new years resolution...to exercise?<br /><br />Fatso</span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dearest F,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have you considered the many alternatives to exercise? Here are a few helpful suggestions:</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1M53La3yoEmI6Ryn3ydSTchl38dVWDmHTfQ3N6V8DEDud3LlcejFbrPCdEnN5VuSVZeoOW-hTpDGFdow96BRHn8-gC-T32NLNq6sgLQMRrbxw-vLv6LB6XpwxSyA5bm8e9K4hsk18mIyO/s1600/fun+house+mirror.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1M53La3yoEmI6Ryn3ydSTchl38dVWDmHTfQ3N6V8DEDud3LlcejFbrPCdEnN5VuSVZeoOW-hTpDGFdow96BRHn8-gC-T32NLNq6sgLQMRrbxw-vLv6LB6XpwxSyA5bm8e9K4hsk18mIyO/s320/fun+house+mirror.jpg" width="260" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. A funhouse mirror. Distortion mirrors can make you taller, stronger, thinner, bustier, bootier, or weirder—whatever your eyes desire.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Larger friends. The bigger around your friends are, the slimmer you look. For example, you could move to <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/how-tiny-nauru-became-worlds-fattest-nation-2203835.html" target="_blank">the Pacific island of Nauru, the most rotund nation on the planet</a>.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Anorexia. Sure, it might kill you, but you'll be buried in a size 0.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Bulimia. See above.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Liposuction. That's where they stick a vacuum cleaner hose into your body and suck out the fat. It might leave you a bit lumpy, however.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. Fad diets. Like the one where you eat nothing but salted wood shavings and carpet tacks.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are just a few ideas. If you still feel you must exercise, Miz Fitz suggests you start by turning off the internet and going for a walk. </span></span>Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-10052714715950520752012-11-15T11:06:00.000-06:002012-11-15T11:06:10.781-06:00Fugly Evolution
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<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">O wonderful Miz Fitz...<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know this guy who really
really likes me. Not to be rude , but he is unkind, ugly, and dumb. There is no
way in the world I would like him. This has happened to me in many instances.
How can I steer away the nasty and horror guys?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From, Total fugly magnet<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear
Magnet,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyITXDTnHAkHElqmcsOOp5Hil2bqnAvikBJX-L8gJq-QifmgLNA3OKChnQl8BWGfuEs0cRaFvf3uUN-gN1C7m5FSUQ1sR1lHIKvDRBhTIsdz07mQiGyuru_l5KE7lhwLz215gHXwuzsd0b/s1600/Nosferatu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyITXDTnHAkHElqmcsOOp5Hil2bqnAvikBJX-L8gJq-QifmgLNA3OKChnQl8BWGfuEs0cRaFvf3uUN-gN1C7m5FSUQ1sR1lHIKvDRBhTIsdz07mQiGyuru_l5KE7lhwLz215gHXwuzsd0b/s320/Nosferatu.jpg" width="176" /></span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz
Fitz has had several fugly admirers, and she feels your revulsion. However, to
put things in perspective, she would like to point out that “fugly” is a
subjective concept. For example, a few decades ago, vampires were largely
reviled, as in the film Nosferatu, the classic version of the Dracula story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now things are different, and we see our vampires in a new light.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05euR9GEfhmPHWbu4sOeW9brNXrxHO4K6OP-trffonp4qZa3W6tpckhUFRNn_mZIQAnSUnFoiPgHCSyuolj4lHauiLjzlDrRokPxriubnEMpCSnjq-21Pe4f_bpNER8ftEQ3gtVHOwZNF/s1600/strongedawrd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05euR9GEfhmPHWbu4sOeW9brNXrxHO4K6OP-trffonp4qZa3W6tpckhUFRNn_mZIQAnSUnFoiPgHCSyuolj4lHauiLjzlDrRokPxriubnEMpCSnjq-21Pe4f_bpNER8ftEQ3gtVHOwZNF/s200/strongedawrd.jpg" width="138" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Likewise, the original werewolf was not someone you would welcome into your boudoir.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCaIvQZIH64iBlQhOiqUarPbHJxp-4Ch0CGGGTHCuxcLpHz7w3VlYizdUl7x8Y37Z-IraO5CuFlR7Laqma9nkGNAE14dsV_679Iz7t0SvTfsDS9Rem0b6jP09WFXgFTar8FFhVBROiKY7U/s1600/Wolfman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCaIvQZIH64iBlQhOiqUarPbHJxp-4Ch0CGGGTHCuxcLpHz7w3VlYizdUl7x8Y37Z-IraO5CuFlR7Laqma9nkGNAE14dsV_679Iz7t0SvTfsDS9Rem0b6jP09WFXgFTar8FFhVBROiKY7U/s200/Wolfman.jpg" width="168" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But now….</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLh7AoSAKEhi3RJTlM2BotfJEhkd2wZkNxVLqoHth5PkgVZPB0UQIT_6dOaB6Mly0Vi3VAUD1p9hoi1OBxtXJcoAWEX5qAjRdrRGSSOzpOLXB2TovuKEaXY7zyhBRXbQqr2NaZXbyI3snA/s1600/werewolves.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLh7AoSAKEhi3RJTlM2BotfJEhkd2wZkNxVLqoHth5PkgVZPB0UQIT_6dOaB6Mly0Vi3VAUD1p9hoi1OBxtXJcoAWEX5qAjRdrRGSSOzpOLXB2TovuKEaXY7zyhBRXbQqr2NaZXbyI3snA/s200/werewolves.jpg" width="136" /></a></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJGZvuFDKvz0HsMUMSgqovTZnNlc67N5dQM2L6pfaK9TaycfHMz9aVYqLq_6M8EZx1fxtZwGtKtw_woS4e2fCPvR_p-Onl-9EeMOs6z34kfFay6VN6vMddg7HULh0_1Za7upXbTXw8UTkJ/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-11-15+at+10.59.58+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJGZvuFDKvz0HsMUMSgqovTZnNlc67N5dQM2L6pfaK9TaycfHMz9aVYqLq_6M8EZx1fxtZwGtKtw_woS4e2fCPvR_p-Onl-9EeMOs6z34kfFay6VN6vMddg7HULh0_1Za7upXbTXw8UTkJ/s320/Screen+Shot+2012-11-15+at+10.59.58+AM.png" width="241" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fugly
becomes fu-hot. Miz Fitz is more concerned about the unkind and unsmart
qualities of your admirers. She recommends a Knuckle Blaster stun gun.</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-61231511376680941702012-11-15T09:23:00.001-06:002012-11-15T09:23:49.875-06:00Little Reminders
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Dear Miz Fitz,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>There’s this boy that I sort of had a thing with last
year, and I really liked him. Some embarrassing things got between us, and
we’ve both acted not very nicely. It’s a new school year though and he’s in 2
of my classes. I am constantly finding little reminders around my house (or
just remembering little things he did) of him. When I think of last year, all
this sadness crushes me. How do I get over him?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mia<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mama Mia!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFFaBfrtj4QxgceiZzSH9GSjLvz6zEgSouV3WbcHdfyxh52-57DAqv20-dwndRplsflB3XD-Z5SkZU3bCpCebSDJNsOVxh3QBTTX2xQbFGjgJMHLorQCr9acqysS5MkqCrV8SCPCEJdUsL/s1600/catpoop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFFaBfrtj4QxgceiZzSH9GSjLvz6zEgSouV3WbcHdfyxh52-57DAqv20-dwndRplsflB3XD-Z5SkZU3bCpCebSDJNsOVxh3QBTTX2xQbFGjgJMHLorQCr9acqysS5MkqCrV8SCPCEJdUsL/s1600/catpoop.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: white;">Some cats know how to maintain <br />a happy relationship.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz once had a cat named Yoobiquitous who she loved more than anything
in the known universe. One day Miz Fitz forgot to buy cat food, and served Yoobiquitous
a delicious medley of canned peas and quinoa. Yoobiquitous turned up his nose
at her offering, went to Miz Fitz’s bed, and deposited a fragrant fecal gift
upon Miz Fitz’s embroidered silk pillow. Miz Fitz retaliated by screaming
bloody murder and throwing a shoe at the cat. From there, things went downhill
rapidly. Yoobiquitous took to hiding dead mice in Miz Fitz’s shoes, while Miz
Fitz attempted to deal with the problem by attaching bells to the cat’s collar.
It was all-out war.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The problem was not resolved until Miz Fitz visited Animal Rescue and came
home with a bouncy six-month-old kitten, who she named YooTwo. Appalled,
Yoobiquitous to one look at the rambunctious invader and ran off, never to be
seen again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bottom line: you need a new cat.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-30888691937860680982012-10-09T16:44:00.000-05:002012-10-09T16:44:22.066-05:00What is the Best Way to Attract a Boy?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Dear Mizfitz, I have a very serious problem that I hope you can help me with. I have this girlfriend and we have been friends for what seems like fifty or so years though that’s impossible because we are only , like fifteen. Anyway, we have always, for as long as we have known each other, which as I mentioned seems like about 50 years, shared all kinds of things, you know like feelings and stuff ( we used to share clothes but she never hung up anything I gave her so, well, enough of that I thought). But to get back to where I started, we talked about our boyfriend, our periods, feelings, and you know, whatever. But now I find out she’s keeping things from me and , you know,like taunting me with what she knows and what I don’t know even though she knows this drives me crazy and makes me want to smack her upside the head or across Lake Elmo though I am not really a violent person and am, in fact, one of those Pacificists. But now I feel we have issues, you know? Like intimacy issues? Or trust? The thing is, she says I will find out what she knows I want to know in a few weeks if I just watch her boyfriend’s website. Sure, like I should have to spend day and night watching this guy’s website when I have my own business to take care of? And trust me, I really like her boyfriend and wouldn’t mind catching him myself if she should tire of him. After all, she won’t be 15 forever and who is to say that she will look so great when she’s 60? Some people think she can get a lot of milage off her hair but, personally, I think those curls are over rated. But maybe he thinks I can’t keep a secret even though my friends all know I am like a VAULT! Tell me to zip the lip and it is zipped. So what should I do ? Dump her? Grovel? Forget that! I really hope you can help me because I am about to EXPLODE and that can’t be good, even for a 15 year old. Angie</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMnMlYw7blGRktDkxbsRpjKTW7rYFT5KHNMnCEnpzmFHaQouo_c0kp6XUpQ-sQx8cspwY5vodwUlW1HAlUaZSmWgawiyYx7iXALw1nZMr7KIODjJ-zRRt_8NuOt1sB_hUG-WRjznXdTaH/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-10-09+at+4.39.09+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMnMlYw7blGRktDkxbsRpjKTW7rYFT5KHNMnCEnpzmFHaQouo_c0kp6XUpQ-sQx8cspwY5vodwUlW1HAlUaZSmWgawiyYx7iXALw1nZMr7KIODjJ-zRRt_8NuOt1sB_hUG-WRjznXdTaH/s400/Screen+Shot+2012-10-09+at+4.39.09+PM.png" width="151" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.yandy.com/Sexy-Hamburger-Costume.php?utm_source=googleps&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=googleps" target="_blank"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The Hamburger Dress</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wow, Angie, Miz Fitz is impressed that you were able to smuggle this missive out of that locked ward. She has read it several times now, and is even more befuddled than before. So, because this is election season, Miz Fitz is going to answer your question by ignoring it completely and talking about an entirely different subject, to wit, "What is the Best Way to Attract a Boy?" Miz Fitz is very excited to have found the perfect killer outfit, guaranteed to make any boy drool with lustful anticipation. She loves the sesame seed detailing. Miz Fitz has ordered several for her wardrobe.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 15px;"></span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 15px;"></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 15px;"></span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 15px;"></span></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-9014602636682820232012-10-06T10:40:00.000-05:002012-10-06T10:41:01.369-05:00The Cat in the Hat<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Miz Fitz,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm still questioning...Do you think he's in
love ?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> He compliments me (he tells me that I'm
beautiful/ the prettiest girl of the class/ and even that he loves my
earrings).</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> He teases me (one time he took my pencil in
class, obviously I tried to take it back(in vain) so I put my hand on the table
and gave him a 'give me my pen back' look and he wrapped his fingers through
mine).</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> When he tells me not really nice things and I
answer "Love you too" he says "I do too"/"Me too"
and he repeated it like 5 times.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> We often cross our legs under the tables when
we're next to or in front of each other.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> He's jealous of my 'boyfriend' : Ross Lynch<3
(it's good to dream).</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> He tries to hook me up with others guys.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And a bunch of other stuff but you've got the
principle facts.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since yesterday he is dating another girl (and
reallyyyyy showing it!) though he told me that he didn't love her & she was
ugly... That's why I'm even more lost ! I know it's a pretty much long message
I send you here, but I hope you can answer me.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take care!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>--The *even more* Apprehensive Girl</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZmAshyjYnPESaxf7agd05MMqVXI_O9pnfHQdZqXqgQrmRs4sbJTmLi9oTtVUqlbunhwJtG-OIvb0JxFr3vKuGihRgHYbhLDHvuk2u3cnBJglCUGESQmnuqCUWhD34LvETrGt9S-lKrT22/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZmAshyjYnPESaxf7agd05MMqVXI_O9pnfHQdZqXqgQrmRs4sbJTmLi9oTtVUqlbunhwJtG-OIvb0JxFr3vKuGihRgHYbhLDHvuk2u3cnBJglCUGESQmnuqCUWhD34LvETrGt9S-lKrT22/s320/Unknown.jpeg" width="221" /></span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Apprehensive,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZmAshyjYnPESaxf7agd05MMqVXI_O9pnfHQdZqXqgQrmRs4sbJTmLi9oTtVUqlbunhwJtG-OIvb0JxFr3vKuGihRgHYbhLDHvuk2u3cnBJglCUGESQmnuqCUWhD34LvETrGt9S-lKrT22/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz has been revisiting her childhood by
reading Dr. Seuss. Here is what she thinks of your guy:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz does not like him <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not one little bit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">His hot-and-cold actions<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reek of bull…spit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As the fish told the children<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Make that cat go away!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tell that cat who’s a rat<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You do not want to play.”</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-74105296908397378682012-09-26T07:17:00.000-05:002012-09-26T16:09:31.275-05:00New World of Warcraft Technique<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Dear Miz Fitz,</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC-wBuMCK8-uUluxv2qidMKpGsHWtPzfWrjeDCC7Gy4BHhtVpCZDqkk5HGGuzRSDW50V6J67c6_WtDgQVr7uAdVf9XjChDZYLLDH9opGlRgPi1eMowwEYbdAHKnP3IXtzZg41MRpY9lD5L/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC-wBuMCK8-uUluxv2qidMKpGsHWtPzfWrjeDCC7Gy4BHhtVpCZDqkk5HGGuzRSDW50V6J67c6_WtDgQVr7uAdVf9XjChDZYLLDH9opGlRgPi1eMowwEYbdAHKnP3IXtzZg41MRpY9lD5L/s1600/images.jpeg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>My best friend is a boy.
Recently we were talking about WOWfest. (every year he and his friends would go
over to one of their houses and play World of Warcraft for 24 hrs
straight) Since we had all started playing together he asked me what day I
could come over. He actually forgot I was a girl! I can't help but wonder
if this is how all the guys in school see me. I never have been asked out but I
thought it was just because of my, now graduated, older brother. Do the boys
literally see me as one of the guys now?</i></span></div>
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">From
1 of the girl/guys</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFm4j0xmnt1A4GnQX45SU3LPfC9lB0v4PTyYr2tvOkAtDUyKLTi9d889nSMB3k2jNzAIz3PEWLOpB2iip2PSyx4LPxuxM2ww1xNeOn9WGq8QZvheRXjxeV3chZzt7Vp0cRmxpmNUb8TW-I/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFm4j0xmnt1A4GnQX45SU3LPfC9lB0v4PTyYr2tvOkAtDUyKLTi9d889nSMB3k2jNzAIz3PEWLOpB2iip2PSyx4LPxuxM2ww1xNeOn9WGq8QZvheRXjxeV3chZzt7Vp0cRmxpmNUb8TW-I/s1600/images-1.jpeg" /></span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear 1 girl,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First, Miz Fitz would like to know the gender
of your primary WoW avatar. Female? Male? Other? If you chose one of the latter
two answers, Miz Fitz cannot help you. If your avatar is female, perhaps you
could arrange to enhance her breast size.</span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Of course, this will only help you in
the virtual world. If you want to impress you real world girlness upon these
unobservant troglodytes, you will first have to get them to stop playing World
of Warcraft, which drains a boy’s romantic impulse like a sewer grate drains a
flooded street. Do you know where the electrical box is in that house? There is
a big lever on its side. Pull it.</span><span style="font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>* Miz Fitz has been informed that the breast size of WoW characters is not configurable. Oh well. Virtual reality is not all it's cracked up to be!</i></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-48926606670439971812012-09-25T07:34:00.000-05:002012-09-25T07:34:17.272-05:00Love Tests
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;"><i>Dear Miz Fitz,</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>How do you know when a boy
is in love with you ?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Katherine P.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dearest Katherine,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIPX5zIOobF78rx6-hQhSqxfacxZonlsK2G2dFRlqCvhv01I8qlfqB_kf5WHLetbg4Bjc1tEI6vgxyV4x2RPOW_8ID9xelqQDrm99D4VUAPo_v1iP0DjnLqERYGOunkbEu873UqotjUJ1V/s1600/pop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIPX5zIOobF78rx6-hQhSqxfacxZonlsK2G2dFRlqCvhv01I8qlfqB_kf5WHLetbg4Bjc1tEI6vgxyV4x2RPOW_8ID9xelqQDrm99D4VUAPo_v1iP0DjnLqERYGOunkbEu873UqotjUJ1V/s1600/pop.jpg" /></span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can never be certain where love is concerned.
Here are two simple tests you can perform.*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ask him. If he immediately says, “Yes,” you can
be sure he’s lying and he only wants to investigate your undergarments. If he
blushes and stammers but does not run away screaming, you are on the right
track.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Offer him a taste of your lollipop, which has
been in your mouth for some time. If he accepts, and does not run to the
nearest water fountain to rinse it off, love may be a factor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*Miz Fitz makes no guarantees—your mileage may
vary. Good luck!</span><span style="font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-64299449269531218882012-09-10T08:26:00.003-05:002012-09-10T08:26:59.151-05:00Too Many Boys? Buffalo Sex Ratios Provide a Clue!
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><i><span style="color: white;">Miz Fitz,</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><i><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><i><span style="color: white;">My
class at school is about two thirds boys, but none of them show any interest in
going out with me or any of my friends. We're getting really fed up with them.
Is there anything we can do except knock some sense into them?<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;"><i>-Fed
Up</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;">Dear
Fed,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;">Two-thirds
boys?!?!?! Miz Fitz is both impressed and bemused.* So she hacked into the CIA
database using a little-known web resource known as “Wikipedia” and discovered
that the worldwide sex ratio in 2011 was 984 males born for every 1000 girls.
You must live in Boyland. Congratulations! (Or should it be condolences? Miz
Fitz thinks boys can be wonderful, but at the same time they can be the most
irritating creatures on the planet.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4RvLbfvxWo4q_E7xO0ehunVkaJzmXcFmYiM6Lu2KLzNXFy6U53Xt6IGFE2lQ7NKXAQEY_7PhVustAqn1LQe8t4VgcslBqFbAPVE5YvJ732_nnemEmap2-RzdW_MO8-5E66v509_K5BF7e/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4RvLbfvxWo4q_E7xO0ehunVkaJzmXcFmYiM6Lu2KLzNXFy6U53Xt6IGFE2lQ7NKXAQEY_7PhVustAqn1LQe8t4VgcslBqFbAPVE5YvJ732_nnemEmap2-RzdW_MO8-5E66v509_K5BF7e/s1600/images.jpeg" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;">(Miz
Fitz also learned from Wikipedia that buffaloes produce more male offspring when there is a lot
of rain. Do you live in a rainy place? Are you a buffalo?)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;">While
it is possible to “knock some sense” into a boy creature (buffalo or human),
this usually works only after the boy creature has become besotted** with you.
Miz Fitz believes your problem may have to do with the peculiar sex ratio in
your school—too many boys can be just as bad as too few. To quote from a book
she recently read called <i>What Boys Really
Want</i>:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 45.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: white;"><i>Like dogs, boys travel in packs. It is
an ancient defense mechanism, and difficult to overcome. My recommendation is
to follow the pack day and night, taking care to remain undercover, until you
see him go off on his own. Then pounce.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;">In
other words, break up the pack and corner one of them. Once he is separated
from his friends, the boy may become vulnerable to your considerable charms.
Good luck!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white; font-size: x-small;">*Bemused: puzzled, confused, or bewildered.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white; font-size: x-small;">** Besotted: 1. Strongly infatuated. 2. Drunk.</span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-48146363171614366502012-08-30T09:48:00.000-05:002012-08-30T09:48:02.401-05:00Signs of Love<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjN3rvD2L8dc-hDiKDPA9sAwTrtdBiK8Z62aDBhCEVTom6aCfE5jdB6g3Jj15VPS_1tc7e2vb_HVZs6aJoysVfUXYpZtpw1sTxFX7AcNRSfpJjzROpCzTviBLl639UMBMrEL-F1ULPcNB_/s1600/photo.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjN3rvD2L8dc-hDiKDPA9sAwTrtdBiK8Z62aDBhCEVTom6aCfE5jdB6g3Jj15VPS_1tc7e2vb_HVZs6aJoysVfUXYpZtpw1sTxFX7AcNRSfpJjzROpCzTviBLl639UMBMrEL-F1ULPcNB_/s320/photo.PNG" width="238" /></a><span style="color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: JA;">Dear Miz Fitz,</span><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: JA;">How do you know a girl is really into you/ in love
with you ?</span><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: JA;">A big fan,</span><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: JA;">—Peter</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: JA;">Miz Fitz likes this question because it is easy: you will know because she will text you a thousand times a day for no reason </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">whatsoever.</span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-81314976375162006902012-08-29T06:58:00.000-05:002012-08-29T06:58:43.816-05:00Popeye's Back
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;"><i>Dear
Miz Fitz,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;"><i>My
question will always be the same: How can I seduce boys so they'll be in love
with me ? <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;"><i>I'm
kinda tired of those girl dressed like prostitutes who make the guys fall for
them, you know. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;"><i>Can't
I have a boy who will love me back ?<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="color: white;"><i>Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><i>--Lonely
Katy</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white;">Dearest Lonely Katy,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white;">Miz Fitz is feeling silly
today. Rest assured, this is perfectly normal. So when she read the words
“Can’t I have a boy who will love me back?” she immediately thought of Popeye
the Sailor Man.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8elh5iJDWh-EfHQzI-7SlnSNN51Z7X65dqUAlTN5a_d2QvnRj-WmdJ1P4bk2x_a4TJRCwdEi09G_-cbFqC19pNnHQcD5MVKKi35DxACYYtATMuttTbyqiPInPZ2YJs026TQV7erwl7tK_/s1600/popeye-5342.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8elh5iJDWh-EfHQzI-7SlnSNN51Z7X65dqUAlTN5a_d2QvnRj-WmdJ1P4bk2x_a4TJRCwdEi09G_-cbFqC19pNnHQcD5MVKKi35DxACYYtATMuttTbyqiPInPZ2YJs026TQV7erwl7tK_/s320/popeye-5342.jpg" width="313" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white;">Popeye: Olives, I wants yez
t’ love me back!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white;">Olive Oyl: But Popeye, I do
love your back! You have a very nice back!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white;">Popeye (frustrated): Not me <i>back</i>, Olives! Love me back th’ way I
loves youse!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white;">Olive Oyl: Oh Popeye! My
hero!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white;">Miz Fitz then googled
“Popeye” and found 13 million images, not one of which showed Popeye from the
back. So here is a picture of Popeye from the front.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white;">Now, as for your real
question, Miz Fitz would like to point out that it is very easy to seduce a
boy. Making him love you is a somewhat more difficult undertaking. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: white;">Fashion, Flirting, and
Fascination will get a boy’s attention. Earning his love will take Truth,
Trust, and Time. Alas, Miz Fitz herself is very good at the three Fs, but she
is very bad at the three Ts, so she shares your pain, and spends her lonely
hours searching for a picture of Popeye’s back.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-79468501103159697462012-07-14T06:55:00.001-05:002012-07-14T06:55:33.973-05:00What Do Boys Really Want?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Miz Fiz,</span></i></span><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">What do boys really look for in a girl?</span></span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Miz Fitz (with a "t") does not normally reply to unsigned inquiries, but Miz Fitz is all about making exceptions, even to her own ironclad rules. What do boys want in a girl? That is a very large question with many large answers, and Miz Fitz is disinclined to answer in detail. She will, however, say this: What boys THINK they want is different from what they REALLY want.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Uy0w242bSqhvu8w0XdxjCOSP52bh4W0gx-m9Em75BsP9HPpGLP_Qafp4Uss8-6mDm9n7UW6svVXGAMlYM1B848H1QC7uj0z3aT8Z9Ax2fWVeoL0eaHE3KzHOV58ol0RqYJxzJPysm5Iq/s1600/scarlett_johansson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Uy0w242bSqhvu8w0XdxjCOSP52bh4W0gx-m9Em75BsP9HPpGLP_Qafp4Uss8-6mDm9n7UW6svVXGAMlYM1B848H1QC7uj0z3aT8Z9Ax2fWVeoL0eaHE3KzHOV58ol0RqYJxzJPysm5Iq/s320/scarlett_johansson.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What boys think they want</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCuzBABPWn77TC0zg9dX2O5A7y9xwYY4kePhyphenhyphenXxQyYX2OEdHWAP_koCkFKRUNEdDb464j-gnLwCHBrYKerbkIZRwIRd10g05rftTg0xfdCoToZiYMi9ajUEK6d-gFiruUQjjrpTCX2oZxr/s1600/Double+Bacon+Cheeseburger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCuzBABPWn77TC0zg9dX2O5A7y9xwYY4kePhyphenhyphenXxQyYX2OEdHWAP_koCkFKRUNEdDb464j-gnLwCHBrYKerbkIZRwIRd10g05rftTg0xfdCoToZiYMi9ajUEK6d-gFiruUQjjrpTCX2oZxr/s320/Double+Bacon+Cheeseburger.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What boys really want</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span>Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-7853083316056626792012-07-09T07:31:00.001-05:002012-07-09T07:31:29.890-05:00How Much Do Boobs Matter?<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Oh wise miz fitz,</span></span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">How much do boobs matter?</span></span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">From 32A</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"> </span></span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Dearest 32A,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It all depends on your point of view. Recent data, based on interviews with 239 four-month-old infants, produced the following informative bar graph.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDjtjIKIBoqEBU7vWEKLnIjb6a1cDwCRadiKj7oVDaSIjCAH6nwXDK5rXxDDIYT6CsCvZODIbmI-flQf4coIX0-tgc0tQp695mQlnBu6GMk8FABkNsKdhBZTSXocPMuldf8gfZcUInTAt/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-07-09+at+7.23.41+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDjtjIKIBoqEBU7vWEKLnIjb6a1cDwCRadiKj7oVDaSIjCAH6nwXDK5rXxDDIYT6CsCvZODIbmI-flQf4coIX0-tgc0tQp695mQlnBu6GMk8FABkNsKdhBZTSXocPMuldf8gfZcUInTAt/s400/Screen+Shot+2012-07-09+at+7.23.41+AM.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">As you can see, if you are an infant, boobs are very important indeed! Researchers also found it interesting how important nostrils are to infants. Possibly this is due to them always looking up into them. In any case, the importance of boobs is directly related to how infantile one is.</span>Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-63475247321597986942012-07-07T08:49:00.000-05:002012-07-07T08:49:15.196-05:00Inflationary Tendencies<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most Amazing Miz Fitz,</span></i><br />
<div>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am normally shy. Everytime I like a guy, he falls for my flirty best friend. She has the boobs, the butt, and the experience. How can I make a guy fall for me?</span></i><br />
<div>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From Shyly Jealous</span></i></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh dear! Everyone has a friend like that! Miz Fitz once had a friend named Chloe who was so sexy and irresistible that Miz Fitz felt invisible in her company. For a time, Miz Fitz made do with Chloe's cast-offs, but of course that could not last, as Miz Fitz knows deep inside herself that she is a goddess in her own right, and far too special to play second fiddle to anyone.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtmVjRHzCncz5_zKHCTgkSrzd-yK43MmFL-FQW0Ybjh8Lvb6kym_aBif7KEcOD8SiK-vKl3rXU0u0dFqNTgMU0R3KY50p-Ok9pTstKtDS652c5isTP72st8pWqZsonQybHRHjqFugbNt9T/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtmVjRHzCncz5_zKHCTgkSrzd-yK43MmFL-FQW0Ybjh8Lvb6kym_aBif7KEcOD8SiK-vKl3rXU0u0dFqNTgMU0R3KY50p-Ok9pTstKtDS652c5isTP72st8pWqZsonQybHRHjqFugbNt9T/s1600/images.jpeg" /></span></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eventually, Chloe's diet of pizza and smoothies got the better of her, causing her waistline to overtake her boobs and butt, and Miz Fitz's modest proportions became comparatively pleasing to observant males. Miz Fitz cannot promise that this will happen to your flirty friend, but it gives one cause for hope. Encourage her to eat. It can only help. Consider the case of the once-svelte Kirstie Allie...</span></div>
</div>Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-52005069467490022922012-05-20T09:20:00.001-05:002012-05-20T09:20:22.715-05:00How Girly is Too Girly?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX-xTvfPMQLaQ5sR08vplPOiClea8lxiIpjqb8OxsneFZ8s70J7s-YB70AKb9C6mfeZXLyaWl7RS2VjREI0_-1-Ftb_5GLtuBQPqijfy7kYqY8c1drBSl10BFPuGNPCTAevoqORP-Spile/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX-xTvfPMQLaQ5sR08vplPOiClea8lxiIpjqb8OxsneFZ8s70J7s-YB70AKb9C6mfeZXLyaWl7RS2VjREI0_-1-Ftb_5GLtuBQPqijfy7kYqY8c1drBSl10BFPuGNPCTAevoqORP-Spile/s200/images.jpeg" width="132" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">Dear oh wonderous Miz Fitz,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">I have a lot of guy friends and they treat me like a guy, but lately I've been dressing more girlyish and they still don't notice me! Am I that ugly that cant look at me as more that "one of the guys"?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">Sincerely, Mal</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">Without seeing how girlishly you have been dressing, one can only speculate. As much as she appreciates girliness, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">Miz Fitz believes </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">it is possible to overdo it to a point where boys will be afraid to look at you for fear of overdosing on your pink magnificence.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">For another point of view, here is Courtney Conway:</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/-tRoKk1gWqk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span>Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-22044026511133920692012-05-17T06:22:00.001-05:002012-05-17T06:22:35.605-05:00Creative Techniques for Dealing with Unreasonable Parents<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Dear Miz Fitz
, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">I am the youngest in my family. I am the only girl and have recently
found out that I can’t date till I am 16, as to my older brothers who started
dating at my age. Help!
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Sincerely, Middle School Lovestruck<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Dear Lovestruck,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVOCfuxOt_SVd2yL70B30CBE_chRMeDekWMUIAPAivaJmCLUsnkJvOIuTaVyzF8z90eEEqgbGT-6KPD8AhLuWmz48tJWL78iJ4_q_ZkBX2Qy8AFyXFcqCQG5WBQcCGApWjyGmUOyq9qv3X/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-02-25+at+6-1.05.04+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVOCfuxOt_SVd2yL70B30CBE_chRMeDekWMUIAPAivaJmCLUsnkJvOIuTaVyzF8z90eEEqgbGT-6KPD8AhLuWmz48tJWL78iJ4_q_ZkBX2Qy8AFyXFcqCQG5WBQcCGApWjyGmUOyq9qv3X/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-02-25+at+6-1.05.04+AM.png" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Researching Crowd Behavior for Psych Class</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Miz Fitz believes your problem is one of semantics. When you are
forbidden from “dating,” you must call it something else. For example, going to
a movie with a boy would be called “studying popular culture.” Going to a party
would be “sociology research.” Making out would be “physical education.” Miz
Fitz would like to point out that this is not lying, it is simply “reframing
the argument.”</span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-1330462934124977302012-05-17T05:51:00.000-05:002012-05-17T05:51:30.311-05:00How Cute are the Cute Things?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Miz Fitz,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So there's this guy in my
school that I liked for 2 years now. This year we became friends, he calls me,
we talk a lot, he often stares at me during class! The problem is that every
time we do something, and he is the one who proposes to do stuff, he cancels
it! And sometimes he ignores me completely! But he always worries when I ignore
him and tries to get my attention. When he is working he asks me to go visit
him and he makes a lot of cute things, but he can also be a total jerk! So
I don’t really know what he wants does he really like me or he is just messing
with my head? What do men have on their mind? Do they have anything on it? My
final question is: Should I confess to him? What should I do?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With respect, Kiki<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My Dear Kiki,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTZifknd9827_UaHL_H-ZtcEn_B-VidkhmzyvR3HddE31cBnHTlcOicTaabXq9NrsB29C72CK3Kxh8Q6T0WSc7GmHHFnEwv81bBBdJLhj5h9UIro1DFIAbNCqm7nXd3TFVUzFChm-CF6vJ/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTZifknd9827_UaHL_H-ZtcEn_B-VidkhmzyvR3HddE31cBnHTlcOicTaabXq9NrsB29C72CK3Kxh8Q6T0WSc7GmHHFnEwv81bBBdJLhj5h9UIro1DFIAbNCqm7nXd3TFVUzFChm-CF6vJ/s320/Unknown.jpeg" width="276" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You have asked many
profound and timeless questions! “Does he really like me or is he just messing
with my head?” Possibly both. “What do men have on their minds?” The answers
are, in alphabetical order, food, sex, and video games. “Should I confess to
him?” No, No, a thousand times No! “What should I do?” Miz Fitz believes that
it all depends on the “cute things” he is making for you. How cute are they? If
he is making you cute manja drawings of himself, you should forget about him.
But if he is making you cute <i>cupcakes</i>, Miz Fitz thinks you should stick around for the sweets.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-40419569500628337832012-04-11T12:46:00.000-05:002012-04-11T12:46:09.683-05:00Getting There<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I can’t believe I’m even writing to you!</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Miz Fitz, I’m in what feels like my own confusion. My boyfriend just dumped me and the only answer he gave was that he was uninterested in me. What? I’ve heard of being uninterested in things, toys, books, but people? Really? I think the real reason is because I’ve been spending some time with his best friend. We are both on the Dean’s list at my school, they make us stand outside and direct traffic like we’re safety patrols. They feel that we’re responsible enough to do things without anyone watching us. Apparently my ex didn’t think so. Lately his friend has been a super gentleman, picking up my bookbags, walking me to my classes, he won’t even say goodbye without a hug from me. I’m not sure of where to go from here? But I know that there are some feelings toward the friend that I can’t get rid of. Help?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>— <s>Un</s>desirable</i><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjquuhaqWmc37E4Z9IT7TlTCMiFRDpg9cZdl09HajusN_7u9f6szzkU9YahBUeI30Af9orGNiyhLbpLV3NTK9WKIHgj8J1XoMdZhneI35pMpKNBBNuLt8fNexzFFyKJzBVPQP0podp_Hd9T/s1600/blackterror13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjquuhaqWmc37E4Z9IT7TlTCMiFRDpg9cZdl09HajusN_7u9f6szzkU9YahBUeI30Af9orGNiyhLbpLV3NTK9WKIHgj8J1XoMdZhneI35pMpKNBBNuLt8fNexzFFyKJzBVPQP0podp_Hd9T/s400/blackterror13.jpg" width="267" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My Dear Desirable,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miz Fitz once had a torrid love affair with a handsome, black-clad crossing guard…but that is neither here nor there.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Clearly, your ex-boyfriend lacks the capacity to appreciate you. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Uninterested?</i> That is what lazy, unimaginative people say when they choose not to make the effort to understand something. “I’m just not interested in physics, dancing, dubstep, whatever,” is simply shorthand for “I don’t get it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your ex-boyfriend doesn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">get</i> you. What more proof do you need that he is a thoroughly tedious individual? Next time you help him cross the street, direct him into the path of a bus. He will find that to be a most interesting experience. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As for your fellow crossing guard, clearly he <i>gets</i> you. The question is, do you <i>get</i> him?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905660760192089107.post-67574698520275612562012-04-02T04:11:00.000-05:002012-04-02T04:11:15.502-05:00What's in YOUR Pocket?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Miz Fitz,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">I'm really not sure how to put this but I kind of like one of my friends. Luke doesn't go to my school but we text a lot. When I saw him at Honor Choir we hung out a lot and we flirted, but at the concert he avoided me. He has a girlfriend but he has admitted to me that he still likes me and that is why he didn't talk to me. (we met in fifth grade and he liked me then.) He has also told me that he and his girlfriend are having troubles. I don't want to break up his relationship but What do I do?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbqzl_tP4z1HEfdx73NTflVVsil2UjxmgGKy_0YBvhKo8b2BMABqhBpz3Xyx3oGn81NIf3ZPXoREOu5KUtMYCEJsx5xUhQYr2XTfLjqkImlXjUKX1TVwEGOrPkdtpA4_Havzo4EHDXHyTI/s1600/Mens-Cargo-Pants.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbqzl_tP4z1HEfdx73NTflVVsil2UjxmgGKy_0YBvhKo8b2BMABqhBpz3Xyx3oGn81NIf3ZPXoREOu5KUtMYCEJsx5xUhQYr2XTfLjqkImlXjUKX1TVwEGOrPkdtpA4_Havzo4EHDXHyTI/s320/Mens-Cargo-Pants.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">—Always Single<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Dear Single,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">You know how some guys like cargo pants no matter how stupid they look? You know how they carry around umpteen things in all those pockets just in case they need to, say, repair a turbocharger or defuse a bomb? Well, some guys have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">virtual</i> cargo pants where they keep their backup girls, just in case their existing girlfriend doesn’t work out. Those virtual cargo pockets are dark inside, and lonely.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><!--EndFragment-->Miz Fitz...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02285418283492026268noreply@blogger.com0