Sexy Sadie

Dear Miz Fitz,

I have been best friends with a guy since the fifth grade and I've liked him ever since... but we haven't talked face to face for a long time.

Now we're in the eighth grade now and I've been leaving notes in his locker secretly; he always reads them, but he never answers them. 

I want to ask him to the Sadie Hawkins winter formal, but how can I ask him when he pretends like I don't even exist?

Miz Fitz would like to point out that she did not know you exist either--until you wrote her this letter!

As for the anonymous locker note strategy…you have seriously messed with that boy’s fragile male brain. He lies awake at night trying to imagine who the mysterious note writer could be. Does he ever imagine it is you? Who can say?

Miz Fitz believes that there is no way to ask a guy out for Sadie Hawkins Day that is not terrifying. Nevertheless, you must embrace your fear and plunge into the unknown—preferably face-to-face. If he says no, you will suffer mortification, and possibly throw up. But it will be better than if you don’t ask him and spend the rest of your life wishing you had been bolder.

If he says yes, mission accomplished! But Miz Fitz would not mention the locker notes until, well, ever. Because it makes you seem a little stalkerish.

BTW, 2013 is the 76^th anniversary of the first Sadie Hawkins Day, which took place in Dogpatch, U.S.A. in 1937. Sadie was quite a woman!

Rainbow Blues

Dear Queen of The Fizzy,

I like a guy who isn't into girls of... "color." Is there any way to get him to notice me?

-Clueless

Oh Clueless!

Miz Fitz thinks that you have a clue. The poor boy is aesthetically challenged. It is sad—so many colors, and he desires only the colorless, like a child who will eat only vanilla yogurt and spaghetti with parmesan cheese. A tragedy!

He may change in time, but it could be a very long time, and the change will have to come from within his own pathetic soul. You could, of course, immerse yourself in a vat of industrial bleach, but Miz Fitz cannot recommend so drastic a move, as it may result in split ends...or worse.

The Colorful Miz Fitz