Miz Fitz Professes to Know All!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

LAST CALL!

Today, November 30, is the last day for contest entries.  Send Miz Fitz a question before midnight for a chance to win a signed and personalized pre-publication copy of What Boys Really Want by Pete Hautman. On Thursday, December 1, Miz Fitz  will post the final contest entries, then don her choosing hat to select a winner from the mounds of entries she has received.



Contest details here.

 
Click here to submit a question. 


Sunday, November 27, 2011

A Minimalist Contest Entry

This is the cover of the UK Edition
When will the new book be published?
—Ms. B



Miz Fitz appreciates brevity. January 1, 2012.




Only four days left to enter for a chance to win an ARC (advance reading copy) of What Boys Really Want. To enter, you must ask Miz Fitz a question. Winner will be announced on December 1st.  Details here

Click here to submit a question. 

Friday, November 25, 2011

Another Contest Entry

Mizfitz, 
I like my boyfriend a lot, and he likes me, but... I think he going to have a gambling problem some day. he's always betting on sports, cards, even grades, you name it. Is gambling a disease like those 12 step programs say? How do i know if he has a problem?
-Not a chump




First, my dear chump, Miz Fitz notes that you are something of a gambler yourself, being as you took a big risk by misspelling her name. For future reference, it is two words, the first word being "Miz," and the second word being "Fitz."

Regarding gambling, it is much like sugar, potato chips, pirate romances, and shoe shopping: a modicum of participation is desirable and at times even necessary—after all, he took a chance on you, right? But too much gambling can be perilous. Here is what to look for: if he asks to borrow money from you for any reason, head for the hills. Do not so much as feed a parking meter on his behalf.



If you would like to win an ARC (advance reading copy) of What Boys Really Want, you must ask Miz Fitz a question. Winner will be announced on December 1st.  Details here

Click here to submit a question. 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dear Miz Fitz,
My boyfriend has invited me to Thanksgiving dinner with his family, and there are like fifty of them, and I'm a vegetarian. Help!
—Terrified of the Turkey


Miz Fitz recommends vegetable-based pepper spray. This will ensure that you are not invited back next year.




If you would like to win an ARC (advance reading copy) of What Boys Really Want, you must ask Miz Fitz a question. Winner will be announced on December 1st.  Details here

Click here to submit a question. 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Nine Days Left

That's right, Dear Readers. Only nine days remain in November, which means that the metaphorical clock is ticking and Miz Fitz will soon be closing the metaphorical door on contest entries. 


If you would like a shot at winning an ARC (advance reading copy) of What Boys Really Want, you must submit (say it in a Dalek voice) a question. Start by clicking here.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Contest Entry #3: The Toilet Seat Question

Dear Miz Fitz,
Why don't boys put the toilet seat down?  It's gross for us to have to touch it to put it down, and boys shouldn't mind doing it because they like gross things right?
—Put it Down



Dear Down,
Miz Fitz feels your pain.  In fact, she felt it just the other night when entered the bathroom in the dark and discovered that her entire derri√®re could fit inside a standard toilet bowl. People six houses away were awakened by her outraged shriek.


As to your first question, Miz Fitz queried a male acquaintance, who explained it thusly: "Putting the seat down is inefficient, because the next person to use the toilet might be a guy, and he would just have to lift it up again."


Miz Fitz finds this argument to be spurious and without merit. However, it may be something we have to live with, as the only alternative seems to be to marry a sitzpinkler.


To enter Miz Fitz's contest and win a copy of What Boys Really Want, click here.  


Contest details here.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Contest Entry #2: Doing the Math

Miz Fitz,
Right now I am r
eading a truly awesome book by Pete Hautman, it's called Blank Confession. I can't put it down, but in math class I am always caught reading it. My teacher told me if he finds me reading it again he will take it away. What do I do?

—Gillette Girl


Dear Girl,
It is sweet of you to mention Miz Fitz's favorite author. You get extra points for that. Perhaps you can use those points to improve your math grade. Regarding reading unauthorized materials in class, Miz Fitz is conflicted. She once read all of Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca during one semester of Algebra. Reading that book was a sublime and transformative experience, and she would not trade it for anything. However, she had to sit through Algebra class all over again the next summer, and that was not so sublime.


 
Life is composed of many such conundrums.  Should I stay out late and risk getting grounded? Should I order a large pizza even though I might eat the entire pie? Should I say what I think even if it will make me hated and despised? (Miz Fitz struggles with that one daily.) Should I go out with a really fun guy who will break my heart?


Miz Fitz believes that there are no right answers, but that does not stop her from offering dubious advice. In your situation, she suggests hollowing out your math book and inserting Blank Confession into the hollow. It is a small, slim volume, so you should have no problem fitting it in.




To enter Miz Fitz's contest and win a copy of What Boys Really Wantclick here.  


Contest details here. 

Monday, November 14, 2011

Fear Factor

Dear Miz Fitz,
I am an “A” student. I am the second-best player on the girls volleyball team. I am the editor of the school paper, and I am a cheerleader, and I'm running for class president. And I’m not bad looking or anything weird. Actually, I’m rather attractive. But for some reason boys don’t ask me out. Do you think they are scared of me because I’m too perfect?
—Suze

Dear Suze,
The answer is Yes. Miz Fitz is a little scared of you herself.

To enter Miz Fitz's contest and win a copy of What Boys Really Wantclick here.  


Contest details here. 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Contest Entry #1: "I'll Never Ask Again."

Dear Miz Fitz,
My boyfriend says to me "let's just try this once , and if you don't like it, I'll never ask again." Should I believe him, he's a nice guy and all, but?
—M

Miz Fitz is Suspicious. Very Suspicious. For example, he may be talking about eggplant. People who love eggplant are unstoppable in their efforts to convert others to the heinous fruit. Even if you try it once and hate it, he may continue to sneak it into dishes such as macaroni and cheese, or chocolate pudding. Or he might be referring to attending a four hour monster truck rally, or a twelve hour session of Dungeons and Dragons, or some other unsavory activity that will leave you with a lifetime of regret, in which case “once” is once too many. Proceed with caution, if at all.
—The Dubious Miz Fitz


To enter Miz Fitz's contest and win a copy of What Boys Really Wantclick here.  


Contest details here. 

Monday, November 7, 2011

Revelations

Miz Fitz has returned from her sojourn in the Wild West, where she was asked many questions by this woman, and others. The question asked most often was, "Where do you get your ideas?" Miz Fitz does not have "ideas."  She has Revelations.


Miz Fitz is fatigued from channeling a plethora of Revelations, but fear not, she will be back in the saddle and responding to your questions very soon.


In the meantime, you may win a free pre-publication copy of What Boys Really Want by submitting a question to Miz Fitz during the month of November. Details here.