Miz Fitz Professes to Know All!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

What Do Boys Really Want?

Miz Fiz,
What do boys really look for in a girl?

Miz Fitz (with a "t") does not normally reply to unsigned inquiries, but Miz Fitz is all about making exceptions, even to her own ironclad rules. What do boys want in a girl? That is a very large question with many large answers, and Miz Fitz is disinclined to answer in detail. She will, however, say this: What boys THINK they want is different from what they REALLY want.

What boys think they want
What boys really want

Monday, July 9, 2012

How Much Do Boobs Matter?

Oh wise miz fitz,
How much do boobs matter?
From 32A 

Dearest 32A,
It all depends on your point of view. Recent data, based on interviews with 239 four-month-old infants, produced the following informative bar graph.
As you can see, if you are an infant, boobs are very important indeed! Researchers also found it interesting how important nostrils are to infants. Possibly this is due to them always looking up into them. In any case, the importance of boobs is directly related to how infantile one is.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Inflationary Tendencies

Most Amazing Miz Fitz,
I am normally shy. Everytime I like a guy, he falls for my flirty best friend.  She has the boobs, the butt, and the experience. How can I make a guy fall for me?
From Shyly Jealous

Oh dear! Everyone has a friend like that! Miz Fitz once had a friend named Chloe who was so sexy and irresistible that Miz Fitz felt invisible in her company. For a time, Miz Fitz made do with Chloe's cast-offs, but of course that could not last, as Miz Fitz knows deep inside herself that she is a goddess in her own right, and far too special to play second fiddle to anyone.
Eventually, Chloe's diet of pizza and smoothies got the better of her, causing her waistline to overtake her boobs and butt, and Miz Fitz's modest proportions became comparatively pleasing to observant males. Miz Fitz cannot promise that this will happen to your flirty friend, but it gives one cause for hope. Encourage her to eat. It can only help. Consider the case of the once-svelte Kirstie Allie...