Getting There

I can’t believe I’m even writing to you!

Miz Fitz, I’m in what feels like my own confusion. My boyfriend just dumped me and the only answer he gave was that he was uninterested in me. What? I’ve heard of being uninterested in things, toys, books, but people? Really? I think the real reason is because I’ve been spending some time with his best friend. We are both on the Dean’s list at my school, they make us stand outside and direct traffic like we’re safety patrols. They feel that we’re responsible enough to do things without anyone watching us. Apparently my ex didn’t think so. Lately his friend has been a super gentleman, picking up my bookbags, walking me to my classes, he won’t even say goodbye without a hug from me. I’m not sure of where to go from here? But I know that there are some feelings toward the friend that I can’t get rid of. Help?

— Undesirable

My Dear Desirable,

Miz Fitz once had a torrid love affair with a handsome, black-clad crossing guard…but that is neither here nor there.

Clearly, your ex-boyfriend lacks the capacity to appreciate you. Uninterested? That is what lazy, unimaginative people say when they choose not to make the effort to understand something. “I’m just not interested in physics, dancing, dubstep, whatever,” is simply shorthand for “I don’t get it.”

Your ex-boyfriend doesn’t get you. What more proof do you need that he is a thoroughly tedious individual? Next time you help him cross the street, direct him into the path of a bus. He will find that to be a most interesting experience.

As for your fellow crossing guard, clearly he gets you. The question is, do you get him?