They Will Never Know

Dear Miz Fitz,
My parents are leaving me home alone while they go to Cancun for five days. My boyfriend thinks I should throw a party while they’re gone. It sounds like fun and my parents would never know but I feel weird about it because they are making such a big deal out of how much they trust me. I am sixteen and I have never got in serious trouble. What do you think?

—Thinking About It

Dear It,
You are sixteen and have never gotten in trouble? Miz Fitz thinks it is about time! Why, only a few years ago she found herself in a similar situation. It was a great party!

Miz Fitz learned many things, including 1) Plate glass windows are very expensive to replace, 2) It is possible for a boy to projectile vomit with such force that it reaches the ceiling fan, and 3) Neighbors have a very low tolerance for dubstep after ten p.m. She also learned that her parents have no sense of humor when it comes to finding beer bottles and other used items under their bed.
You should definitely go for it. Think of the stories you will have to tell!

Bonus tip: A sprinkle of salt and some soda water will help lift wine or blood stains from carpeting.