Miz Fitz Professes to Know All!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Grilling

Dear Miz Fitz,
The interrogation every time I get home is unbelievable!  My mother is insane. 
“Who were you with?” “What did you do?” “Were there any drugs?”
I’m like, “Mom, we just went over to Wendy’s”
“Who is Wendy? I don’t know Wendy. How old is she? What school does she go to? Where does she live? What do her parents do? Does she have any tattoos or piercings? What religion is she?”
“Mom! We went to Wendy’s!  The restaurant?
But that doesn’t stop her: “Wendy’s? What did you have to eat? Not one of those horrible bacon cheese concoctions, I hope? Who were you with?  What did they eat?”
What should I do? What do you think of earplugs?
—Cain’t Take It No More

Dear Cain’t,
Miz Fitz is down with earplugs. She wears them often, as they can make most conversations far more interesting. For example, Miz Fitz was recently wearing her earplugs at the drugstore while purchasing a slightly embarrassing personal item when she heard the pharmacist say, “You are boring and frightful for heaven’s sake.”
Miz Fitz’s perfectly reasonable response seemed to shock the poor pharmacist.
It was not until she left the store that Miz Fitz realized the pharmacist had actually said something far less interesting: “Use it morning and night for seven days.”
Earplugs, most definitely. Life is too short for boring.

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” — Robert Frost

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