Bonding through Bacon

This was originally a picture of a pound of bacon, but
it was making Miz Fitz a bit queasy,
so she replaced it with this lovely little ducking

Dear Miz Fitz,

I am a vegetarian (except for bacon), but my boyfriend eats about two pounds of meat a day (mostly hamburgers) and no vegetables. This is a problem because sometimes I think he smells like dead cows and it grosses me out. How can I get him to back off on the burgers?

—Karalyn

In the original post, this was a picture of GROUND bacon (gross!)
The kitten is ever so much nicer, Don't you think?

Dear Karalyn,

Coming between a boy and his burgers is an enterprise fraught with peril. Your only hope is to exploit your common interest in bacon. Miz Fitz is no cook, but you could try this: Grind up a pound of bacon, form it into patties, and fry it like a hamburger. That way you can enjoy a greasy meal together, and instead of him reeking of dead cow, you will both smell wonderfully bacony. If that works out, you might slip a leaf of lettuce into his next baconburger and see how it goes. In time, you may find yourself serving BLTs at your wedding reception.