Miz Fitz Professes to Know All!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Feng Shui Facial

Dear Miz Fitz,

I’ve been seeing this guy who is really nice but kind of weird looking because of this thing on his nose.  I’ve been trying to get him to have it cut it off, but he has like this pathological fear of surgery and he says I should just love him for who he is. I do love him, but when I look at him all I see is the “thing.”


Dear Sally,

Miz Fitz would like to thank you for not including a photo of the “thing.” Your problem is more common than you might think. Miz Fitz once dated a boy who wore a nose ring, and she could not look at him without examining the ring for wayward flecks of smutz. It was, to say the least, distracting. In a last ditch effort to save the relationship, Miz Fitz removed nose ring with perhaps greater than necessary force. Miz Fitz cannot recommend this technique, as it may lead to tears and bleeding. Instead, you may wish to investigate the many attractive band aids now available.

If the "thing" is too large to be concealed by a band aid, you may wish to consider a balaclava.

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