Miz Fitz Professes to Know All!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Most Awkward of Gifts

Dear Miz Fitz,
This guy I know who’s a friend, but not like a boyfriend or even anybody I want to go out with, gave me this expensive necklace for Christmas, and I feel really weird about it. My mom says I should give it back, but that would feel weird too. What should I do? It’s a really nice necklace.
—Ambi Valent

Dear Ambi,
Welcome to the Seven Levels of Guilt. First, you must accept that no matter what you do, it will be excruciatingly awkward for the next forty years. If you keep the necklace, he will have Expectations. He will want to go out with you. If you say yes, you will have to endure the most uncomfortable date of your life, and you will both regret it. If you say no, he will sink into a morass of seething resentment that will last his entire lifetime.  If you give the necklace back to him, he will feel stupid and you will feel guilty and you will avoid each other every day until one of you moves to Bogzillia.
Miz Fitz suggests that, since there are no happy alternatives, you send the necklace to her.

Please enter Miz Fitz's December book giveaway! To win a signed hardcover copy of What Boys Really Want, send Miz Fitz a holiday-related question The winner will be chosen at random, so your question doesn't have to be all that good. Winner will be announced on January 1.

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